I Need To Move

In 2012 I was 25 and desperate to move out of my moms basement. I got a decent job and saved my down payment. I searched and searched everyday for the ideal property in my price range. One day, My realtor had a lead on a “hot property” that “we must go see today”.  It was exactly what I was looking for and 3 months later I was moving my stuff in. 

I will admit, I didn’t exactly do my research  on the neighbourhood I was in. The goal was to move as far away from where I was and I did just that. After settling in, I thought I would do I quick google search of my new street. Bad idea. 2 months prior there was a shooting a block away. The police claim they have “cleaned up the area” since then so I was hoping that to be true. 

It’s been 7 years since then. Shockingly, I can honestly say I’ve never had a single incident with any neighbours or local gangsters. Even the neighbourhood kids have been pretty reasonable. More reasonable than I was at their age that’s for sure. 

One night as I’m driving to work, Another Motorist comes flying by me honking his horn and waving his hands out of the windows. I check all my mirrors and gauges to make sure I’m not on fire. All systems go. He continues on his way so I assume maybe it was a case of mistaken identity. My vehicle is pretty common after all. I shrug it off and crank the tunes. Probably some Tpain or Akon. Maybe some Lil Wayne. Who knows. 

Further down the road, a few blocks or so. Another vehicle is honking at me. At this point I know something is up. The white box truck rolls down his window and says “Nice Rod!”. I’m not sure what to make of it until he continues “there’s a giant rod spray painted on the back of your truck!”.

I smile awkwardly. The light goes green and he makes his turn. I stay put at the light. Confused over what has just transpired. I exit the truck in the empty intersection and walk a circle around it. Sure enough the word PENIS is spray painted across my tail gate. 

The neighbourhood kids have betrayed my trust. Good Canadian kids I thought. We were doing so well for so long and they do me like this?. 

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